Category Archives: Guest Post

Guest Post: For the women who have been held back because of their gender

women

This is for all the women who have ever been held back because of her gender:

I am a woman.

Beautiful, strong, and kind.

Teacher. Leader. Educator. God lover.

Spiritual. Emotional. Trying not to be cynical.

Because there are people who don’t see me for the person that I am – inside.

They see me as one-dimensional. Daughter of Eve. High heels. Tight jeans.

Sometimes I like red lips and too much mascara.

They see my womanhood as a threat. A temptress. Seductive.

Even with 30 extra pounds and graying hair, I’m a distraction. A nuisance.

Am I a disturbance? Someone to put on a shelf. Not needed. Not appreciated. Not valued. Not included.

No.

I am feminine. I am a mother. Daughter. Friend. Human being.

My voice matters. My opinions are valuable and significant. My ideas are worthy and creative.

I am NOT Charlie Brown’s teacher – open your ears and listen.

My existence should be praised. Honored.

If my presence makes you uncomfortable, that is on you – not me.

I will not apologize for my body type and my hair length.

Women are not just curves and shapes in clothing.

We are brains, strength, power.

If you would see us for who we are, not what we look like, you could learn.

I could teach you.

You could see that we could have a seat at the table. SHOULD have a seat at the table.

The lies need to be silenced and you should awaken to the truth, that I – that women – can do and be ANYTHING.

We are enough. I am enough.

Man – YOU are enough.

If you believe that, you wouldn’t be threatened by ME.


amber braddy jone

This beautiful post originally appeared on my friend Amber Jone’s Facebook timeline, where she regularly ministers with inspiring and encouraging messages.  Her husband Dale and my husband Logan grew up together and remain close friends.  Both Amber and Dale are pastors at Forest Park Church in Elizabeth City, NC.  Her bio on their website says:  “[Amber’s] role is to provide creativity and style to Forest Park, during the weekend services and online. Amber has a passion for the Arts and is talented in many aspects, including music, drama, design, fashion, and social media. She has been singing in churches since she was eight years old and has served on Praise and Worship teams since she was a teenager. She is passionate about seeing people recognize the love and grace that is offered through a relationship with Jesus Christ. Her other passions include her family, music, Ecuador missions, friends, and shoes. Amber married the love of her life, Dale Jones, in May 2001. They both share the love of music and have ministered together through singing since they met. They both serve as Worship leaders in the FPC Worship Band. Her heart also belongs to two other guys – her sons Barrett, born in 2004, and Chandler, born in 2007. Amber earned a Bachelor of Science degree in Elementary Education and was employed by the Elizabeth City Pasquotank Schools from 1999-2004. In 2004, she became a stay-at-home mom. Amber’s favorite passage of scripture is 2 Corinthians 5:17 ‘This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!'”

Her post also included this disclaimer: “This is not about the men close to me. I am surrounded in my inner circle with men who are very supportive of me and women in general.”  What a gift!

And I can’t leave this post up without also blessing you with Amber and her brother Ricky Braddy’s beautiful singing in a service at FPC (posted by their mom, of course!):

Guest Post: Prototype

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I am their prototype for women.

I am a stay-at-home mom who has the propensity to do far more for my boys than I should, and in the back of my mind, I am aware that I want to teach them that women are strong, courageous, human. The old adage — “Actions speak louder than words” — well, I think it’s very true.

On an ordinary Saturday evening, my husband decided to cook dinner. When my oldest, who’s five, asked him to play instead my husband responded, “No, I’m making dinner right now.”

My son’s response: “What?! Mom does that.”

My fiery eyes met my husband’s while I inhaled a deep breath, and he, with a slightly amused smile, told my son that mom does not always make dinner. To further his enlightenment, he had my son join the ranks for dinner duty.

My son has never heard in our house that it is my sole responsibility to cook dinner, but he’s watching, and that’s what he sees. If I always cook dinner, he will believe that women always cook dinner, so I’m trying to stick my nose in a book and let dinner happen upon the table without my help a little more often.

My three-year-old is the kind of boy who would still live in my womb if I let him. Of course, at three he still needs some help, but he could get dressed by himself. He could put on his own shoes. He could pick up his own messes. Heck, he could even walk on his own two feet all of the time! Mostly, though, he’d rather just let me do everything for him.

He loves to respond to my requests with, “No, you do it.” I know he also says this to his dad from time-to-time, and I’m sure three-year-old girls also say such things to their parents, but when it comes to the dynamics between my boys and I, I know this habit can plant a seed. It won’t stop at mom does everything for me, it will morph into the expectation that women can be bossed around, that women are around to take care of them.

I have primarily been home day-in and day-out every day of my sons’ lives. I still remember telling my oldest one day that some moms go to work and their kids go to daycare. It felt weird to need to say that, to explain it. But I stay home, and most of the mom-kiddo combos that we spend time with are also home — similar schedules are magnetic.

If I never work, if my only responsibilities are to them and to our home, then they will more easily assume that all women should do this. So, I work. At home. I write. I photograph. I edit. And I call it work. I’m rarely making money, but money isn’t the measure for work. I want them to know that — that we all have jobs to do. We all have gifts and abilities and things that we offer outside of our own homes and families. It’s work raising them and taking care of our household, but that work is shared work. (Or at least, we think it should be.) My writing and my photography — it’s my work. It matters, and the whole family works together to make room for it.

I’m grateful for the ever-expanding presence of women in my sons’ lives. Teachers at school, who go to work everyday. Doctors, who give them checkups. Friends, who have different dynamics and norms and routines in their homes. Family members who do things differently. I may be their primary prototype, but other women in their lives will help dispel assumptions about what all women are like.

I have to be aware of the ways my actions and habits affect the way they see an entire gender. I’m grateful for a husband who also understands this and realizes that he is the primary example of how a man treats a woman. Thank God he treats me well.

I am the standard of women for them whether I want to be or not. Though they will hear that women are equal from my lips, it’s far more important that they see that reflected in the way our family functions, in the way I actually live.


denise-lillyWe are honored to share this guest post today from our dear friend!  Denise Lilly lives in Maine with her husband and two boys. She writes and photographs for clarity, hoping it will hone her sight. Read more on her blog, Eyes to See, and her self-published book, Cling: Faith Lessons from my Son’s Early Years, available on Amazon.

If you relate to this struggle of teaching your sons what to expect from the women in their lives, please share Denise’s post!

Guest Post: The Way Through the Waves

It is an honor and a pleasure to share this sermon from Zoë Faith Reyes, our sister in Christ and in community at North Harbor Community Church in midcoast Maine.  In the weeks leading up to Easter Sunday, the teaching team at North Harbor did a series called A Peace of Suffering.  If you are interested in listening to the entire series, you can do so here.  It was profoundly helpful to look closely at the topic of suffering as a church family.  And in the spirit of The Beautiful Kingdom Warriors’s mission to empower women and girls to pursue their callings and develop their spiritual gifts for the building of God’s Kingdom, we wanted to offer Zoë as an example of a woman using her gift of teaching to greatly bless her church family.  Enjoy her sermon!


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Zoe’s San Fransisco Team on top of a windy hill

The Way through the Waves
A Peace of Suffering – Part 6

I recently read an article about one of my favorite topics, Resilience, the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. Almost as an aside, the article mentioned that research has shown that people who are members of faith communities regularly demonstrate stronger resilience. At the same time, I was feeling heavy with the weight of trials and sufferings that I felt that the members of my own faith community [including myself] were undergoing. “How?!” I wondered. “What is it about people in faith communities that enables them to be more resilient? How can I tap into that capacity? How can I offer that power to my brothers and sisters of faith??” With these burning questions weighing on my mind, I entered into a dark and beautiful journey into the world of pain.

For one, I have to admit, “I hurt.” I can’t begin to preach at my community as if I have it all together, am above this fray, I have to admit the hurt in my body, mind, heart and soul. Any outsider might assess my “suffering” differently, but Pain is Pain. If I worry about those external assessments, I might belittle or glorify my pain, but both approaches only help me avoid actually dealing with it. And as attractive as avoiding pain seems, I can not forget the worst pain I ever experienced. When I went into labor with my second child and attempted a VBAC, his heart rate indicated he was in distress. Due to my history and his present condition, I was whisked away for an emergency C-section, which required an emergency administration of general anesthetic. They struck a needle into the back of my hand and it felt like a freight train had tunneled into my hand and up my arm instead. The feeling that effectively took all pain and other feeling away was easily the most excruciating physical pain I have ever known. So I neither can, nor am I sure I want to remove all pain from my life.

For two, I know YOU hurt, and I hurt for you. I hate that in my helplessness, I can not shoo away your chronic pain; make the world treat you with the love and respect you deserve; erase the trauma from you past; bring back the people you have loved and lost; I may not even be able to get through the walls you’ve erected to keep anyone from knowing you are in pain and in need of help in the first place. And there’s despair in that. Despair is when you feel like tomorrow will be no different from today, or in other words, despair is the absence of hope. I have known despair all too well, far too many times. AND, so many times when I have faced my despair, I have found hope. Hope is a learned skill, learned in the context of relationship. I am learning to hope as I experience life in community.

I want to get vulnerable and share with you out of my own darkness and despair to share a picture of where despair can lead to hope, how I have time and again found peace in my suffering.

When I was in college, I co-lead a mission team to San Francisco where we fed the homeless, worked with AIDS victims; painted a mission outpost; and played with and shared love with inner city kids. Both the prep work in the year leading up to the trip and the week itself were sleepless and exhausting, but miraculously I had strength to get through each day with gusto. Until the last day, that is. On the last day, in the climax of my leadership success, one of our team members informed me that he was taking off to hang out with a friend in the city. I told him he could not, we were there on a TEAM trip. He scoffed at me and left anyway.

In a recent sermon at our church, Will Truesdell talked about our self-talk when we’re in the midst of suffering. My self-talk went something like this: “How dare he show such disregard for our team unity! I can not be held responsible for the danger he is going to get himself into in the city – he is so going to get lost on the subway!! How dare he show such disrespect for this trip’s purpose! How dare he show such disrespect for me! Why is he just abandoning me like this?!” I was feeling intense fury and disdain. Depression is sometimes defined as “anger turned inwards,” and that was exactly what I started experiencing. My anger at this guy quickly turned into, “I am a failure! I am failing my team. I am failing at ministry. I am failing myself. I am failing God.”

I prayed for help. And things got . . . worse. I felt profoundly powerless. I had no strength left. And that feeling was even scarier than my familiar feelings of depression. I could not stop crying. I could not move my body. I could not get low enough to the ground. I could not respond when I heard people asking where I was. I could not respond when people found me and asked what was wrong. I could not move when they had no time left to be patient because we had to go. I felt trapped inside a body I was too small and meager to maneuver. Friends eventually found me and carried me into a car, which carried me across the Bay to our destination. As we drove, I continued to be inconsolable. I felt as abandoned by God as by the guy who had ditched us. I felt a sense of exclusion from their concern.

Psalms 69:1-3 says: “Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters and the flood sweeps over me. I am weary with my crying; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God.”

I resonated strongly with that Psalm. I think the disciples also would have resonated with the Psalm the night they were in the boat on the stormy sea, just after Jesus had fed 5,000 people with a small portion of loaves and fishes. Take a minute to read Matthew 14:22-33.

They were in the middle of their ministry, in the middle of the night, in the middle of the sea, in the middle of a great storm, and Jesus was NOT there. He’s sent them on ahead of himself. Scripture says they were, “far from land, and the wind was against them.” I think they must have felt they were far from HOPE.

In the 4th [last] watch of the night [3-6am], “they had begun to despair of deliverance.” And just as their hope is nearly completely gone, they look out into the waves and think they see a ghost. They cry out in fear. Like my night in San Francisco, a bad night just got way worse.

But it’s not a ghost. It is Jesus. And Jesus replies to their cries with words of comfort. Literally translated, His words would come out something like, “Have courage, I AM; don’t be scared away.” Our biological responses to fear are: fight, flight, or freeze. But Jesus asks the disciples to choose another way. He asks them to instead Face their fear. He invites them to be present, even in this dark and scary moment.

In a sense, Peter does obey. He is not scared away. Instead, he stays. And he gets curious. He says, “if it’s really you, ask me to come to you on the water.” Jesus replies, “come.” And Peter steps out into the darkness, into the water, into the storm.

What if we got curious about our suffering and
stepped into it instead of running or fighting it away?

And so, Peter walks on water, just like Jesus, until the wind picked up and delivered a full sensory assault to Peter. Hebrews 12:2 says to “fix our eyes on Jesus,” but in this moment, Peter. Just. Can’t. He experiences a failure of faith and courage, which threatens his life and his ego, and he begins to drown.

So here’s the PIVOTAL moment:
Will Peter deny or embrace his inability to endure this suffering??

When I was in San Francisco, I thought the success of our trip was on my own shoulders. BUT, I could not bring the trip to a successful end. I could not hold the team together. In that moment, I couldn’t even speak.

In Peter’s moment, he cries out, “Lord, save me.” Peter embraces his suffering. In other words, Peter incorporates his pain, his death, his insufficiency into himself. HE OWNS IT.

Here, when Peter says, “Lord,” he’s using a word that means, “he to whom a person or thing belongs.” He is confessing a submissive belonging. He is expressing that he belongs to Jesus; not to himself, not to the fear, not to the waves.

The word “save” here is “sozo” in the original text. That word means “to keep safe, to protect, to restore, to make whole, to make complete.” In other words, Peter is saying, “I alone am not sufficient, I am not enough. Complete my courage. Complete my faith. Complete my strength. Make us ONE. Weave us together. Pursue our peace.”

Etty Hillsum, a Jew who ultimately died in a Nazi concentration camp came to realize that
to exclude death [and I would add “failure” or “pain”] from life is to sacrifice a complete life.”

Shalom, Peace, is:
The webbing together of God and man with all creation
to create universal flourishing and wholeness.
~Cornelius Plantinga

In other words, Shalom is Completeness, made whole-ness.
It is integration instead of exclusion.
It is integration of death into life;
you into me;
peace into suffering.

When Peter cries out, “Lord, save me,” he is owning his suffering and crying out for PEACE.

Jesus replies, “Oh you of little faith, why did you doubt?” In the church, we can use the “little faith” phrase to imply that good Christians shouldn’t be so bogged down by suffering or grief, if they had more faith, “this” wouldn’t be such a problem. But I wonder . . . what was Peter doubting? Maybe Peter doubted that Jesus made him able to walk on the water in the first place, that Jesus would see it through until they reached each other, that Jesus, with his presence, would help him suffer the storm.

Maybe Peter doubted that the whole point of any of this mess was not that Peter get to walk on water, but to join with Christ and together endure their suffering. Maybe Peter doubted that the whole point of all of this crazy life with Christ was LOVE.

I hadn’t been doing the good work in San Francisco the whole time. As we had prepared, chose the team, did the work in the city . . . I had thought that serving Jesus through meeting Him in the people we served was the goal. But I was too blind to see that He was also the archer. He was powering the work. His love was making it possible for us to show love to people in San Francisco.

**His love made a way for us, for me, to enter into his love. **

I humbly suggest that maybe I have some guesses about what Jesus thinks Peter was doubting, and what that tells us. But I don’t think it is inconsistent with what is said elsewhere. In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus says:

“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

And in 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10, Paul conveys God’s message to him:

“My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.

Jesus doesn’t calm the storm in this instance, nor does he necessarily exert power over the elements that cause suffering. He comes under the storm and weathers it with the disciples. He is Emmanuel, God with us.

Jesus gets Peter back into the boat. Eventually, the storm dies down. And the disciples declare, “Truly you are the Son of God.” In Mark’s version of this account (Mark 6:45-52), he points out, “They were completely astounded because they had not understood about the loaves. Instead, their hearts were hardened “ ~Mark 6:51-52. A hardened heart is one covered with thick skin, callused, made dull, having lost the power of understanding. People who have calluses aren’t born that way. They are people who have grown tough skin because of a wound or significant friction, they’ve had to toughen up to just get through, to survive. And that thick skin is hard to cut through to do the true wound-healing. “Just surviving” impairs understanding. When Jesus fed the 5,000, as Dan preached about in the last sermon series, He was filling a gap in the disciples capacity and in their faith. Here, he is doing the same thing again in a much more visceral way [point by Manny Reyes.]

“True omnipotence may not be found in a distant and separate power over something or someone, but rather in the intimate experience of being wounded for and with.”
~Gerald May, Dark Night of the Soul, p. 197

As Dan has pointed out in previous sermons in this series, to Suffer, from the latin, means “to bear from below.” Instead of exerting power over here, Jesus suffers with and for his disciples.

“True omnipotence may not be found in a distant and separate power over something or someone, but rather in the intimate experience of being wounded for and with.”

Back to me in San Francisco, trapped in my powerlessness . . . the car I was in arrived at our destination, and I was pulled out, not ready to enter the house with the group, but stood outside alone with Manny on the edge of an hilltop, in the night, in the middle of a rushing wind. And in the middle of that full sensory assault of wind and darkness, I experienced God’s quiet, gentle words to me, “Be still. I AM.” With those words, I could feel His comfort and have the courage to listen on to what else He had to say to me. He didn’t speak to the situation. He didn’t make that guy suddenly appear and apologize. But He did assure me that I was not alone. I was not “fired” from serving Him. Manny would be my partner in service – as he was already demonstrating as he held me in that moment that he would be able to hold me in the ministry God had laid out for us in the future.  But most importantly, He showed me Emmanuel, God WITH us, was there to stay with me for the journey. And that truth diminished my other fears and concerns, of which that dude would be one of the least.

This story out on the water looks to me like a microcosm of the greater story of the gospels: God on high saw the people He loved suffering, so He entered into their lowliness in order to be with them, to endow strength into them so that they might endure. This story and my story are both miniature incarnations, Christ manifesting His presence to save. When Jesus entered into their suffering, spoke into their fear, and saved Peter. He is softening hard hearts.

I think an exoskeleton, like the shell on a turtle, the skeleton on the outside, is a good picture for a hardened heart. When Jesus suffers with and for the disciples and for us, He cuts through thick callused skin dulling our senses, healing the leprosy of the heart and making us vulnerable. He completes our incomplete courage with His own strength. In our unification, He builds a new skeleton within us. We are transformed into a creature with an endoskeleton, flexible and durable, not safe, but saved, completed.

Transformed,
we are better equipped to weather the rest of the storm, and most importantly,
we are not alone.

I originally shared this message on Palm Sunday, the day when the church remembers Jesus, who knew that His betrayal, denial, and death were coming, entering into Jerusalem in a coronation parade. Knowing all that He knew, he allowed the people to sing Hosana over Him, as the King of the Jews. I wouldn’t have. I, who do what I can to exclude death and failure and pain and betrayal from my life, would have been infuriated with those people with palm branches waving their praises, knowing they would turn on me in a matter of days. But he integrates his death into his life, the betrayal into the praise, because he IS life enlarged. AND he does it all for the sake of LOVE, so that we could join him – through our pain – and also integrate death into our life for full, durable, thriving life – which is to say life with him.

PS 77: 19 Your way was through the sea, / Your path, through the mighty waters.

No fear can hinder now the love that has made a way into his love.

Hosanna to the Prince of Peace.


zoe reyes

Zoë Faith Reyes was born and raised in the church in Houston, Texas. She has B.A.’s in Philosophy and English from Westmont College and a Masters in Social Work from California State University East Bay. Zoe has done mission work in Tecate and Reynosa, Mexico; Sewanee, Tennessee; Houston and Galveston, Texas; Kingston, Jamaica; San Francisco, California; and Kandy, Sri Lanka. She has worked for seven nonprofits, including Project Peace which she co-founded and for which she was a founding board member and CEO. She is currently serving as mother for Sofia (5) and Daniel (2); wife for Manuel Reyes; steward for a small bit of earth in Brunswick, Maine; Community Development Director for North Harbor Community Church; and photographer for Zoe Reyes Photography. If she has done anything of worth in this life, it is a result of the power of Christ in her, and to the glory of God.

Singleness – A Gift From God, a Seat at the Kiddie Table, or Girls Gone Wild?

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I am a 35-year-old Christian woman that isn’t in a relationship and isn’t married.  I grew up in a Christian environment with parents that are still together.  I never dreamt I would be in my 30s single with no kids.  I dreamt of being a wife and a mother.  I think I would make a great wife and mother.  I’ve had a lot of different emotions about my single life through the years, but these days I seem to have more questions than emotions – What messages have I been told about being single?  What messages do I tell myself?  Did I do something wrong?  Is being single a blessing?  Why do I still desire marriage and kids if it’s not God’s Plan for me?  What is God trying to teach me? Etc. Etc. Etc.

The questions can make me a little crazy some days!  But I have learned in life that the best place to take my questions are to the foot of the cross.  There isn’t always an answer to my question, but there is always love and grace at the foot of the cross.  Some of my questions do have answers that I must wrestle through.  Let’s tackle a couple here now.

What have I been told about singleness, both intentionally and unintentionally?

In Christian society, I often feel like I haven’t grown up yet.  Like I have not arrived into the life God made for me because I do not have a husband to lead me.  Marriage feels like it is held up as God’s ideal for us all and because I don’t have it I am somehow missing out on God’s best life.

In secular society, I often feel like my life needs to be wild and sexually free because I am single.  Most assume I sleep around and enjoy not being in a monogamist relationship, then the bomb comes when they find out I am a virgin. Yes, the 35 year old virgin!  My non-Christian friends cannot understand it and often then just treat me with pity.  Again, I am treated like I am missing out on the best life has to offer.

Now, what messages do I tell myself.  If I’m honest, at times I believe all the lies I just talked about.  Some days I do feel like I am missing out, like I haven’t arrived, and that I will be alone forever.  On these days I have to run to the only place I know to find truth – back to the foot of the cross, to the arms of my Creator, and to the love of my Savior.  It is here that I am reminded who I am!

The truth that God whispers in my ear is that I am His and no one will ever love me like He does.  That I will never be alone because it is He who walks beside me.  Now I want to stop here and say what many of you single folks might be thinking, “That is all well and good, but doesn’t produce a flesh and blood person to do life with.”  To this, I say I know.  For years, and on some days even now, I feel lonely.  I long for someone to help me with things.  I long for a partner.  Yet with my whole heart, I believe God is enough.  I would love to be a wife and a mother someday, but if that day never comes I will still live a great life.  I am a beloved daughter of God that has amazing family and friends that love me and let me love them back.  I have a job and hobbies that let me pour into others, as they pour into me.  I am blessed.  I am loved.

At this point in my life, I have learned to celebrate the good parts of being single and to face the hard parts with those that love me and in the arms of my good God.  One of the biggest things I have learned I will talk about more in another blog entry or in an upcoming vlog entry with Ruth and Becky, but it is that I am so much more than a label.  Who I am is not in the label of singleness.

Until next time…enjoy life, regardless of any label!!!

Love & Laughter,

Amy


amy st johnBecky and Ruth are pleased to share this guest post from the wise and wonderful Amy St. John.  Amy is a Relay Event Specialist for the American Cancer Society and serves on the Board of Directors for North Harbor Community Church in Topsham, Maine.  She is a Beautiful Kingdom Warrior through and through!!!

Please leave Amy a comment, thanking her for sharing her story here and encouraging her to come back soon!

If you haven’t already, “Like” us on Facebook and Follow us here so you don’t miss out on any posts!

Jesus in the Gardens: Undoing What Adam Did

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I had to share this beautiful post from Kristen Rosser, who blogs at Wordgazer’s Words.  Hers is one of my favorite blogs, with writing that is a combination of academia and art.  I highly recommend scrolling through her topic index next time you want to do some reading.  Be informed, be very informed. 🙂

Jesus in the Gardens: Undoing What Adam Did (Click the link to go to the article.)  Here’s an excerpt to whet your appetite:

 The twelve were the main witnesses to the life, death and resurrection of Christ. In the Ancient Near East and Roman cultures, the testimony of women was considered invalid. It was not accepted in court; it was not legally binding in any way. The world was simply not going to listen to women, and Jesus knew it.
So here’s what He did. His very first act upon Resurrection was to appear to the women. In fact, John tells us that though Peter and John ran ahead of Mary Magdalene on the way to the tomb, they saw nothing. Then after they left, Mary Magdalene was the first to see the Resurrected Christ. John 20:3-14. Other women also saw Him shortly afterwards– but no male saw the Lord, revealed for who He was, until that evening, eight hours or more afterwards. . .
The significance of this would not have been lost on the male disciples in that patriarchal culture. They knew that they themselves had refused to believe the women’s testimony that morning. Then when Jesus appeared to them, they realized the women had been telling the truth.
Jesus was communicating this very clearly (the fact that we miss it today is a product of our culture): “The world will not accept the testimony of your sisters, but I have just forced you to listen to it. My kingdom is to be different from the world. You are to listen to your women and allow them to testify of Me.”

Image credit:  Fra Angelico, “Jesus Apearing to the Magdalene” (1440-41), Convent of San Marco, Florence

The Logical Fallacy of “Equal but Subordinate”

I just finished reading this post over at Wordgazer’s Words, and had to share.  Very thoughtful argument from an egalitarian in response to the Center for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood’s 2006 article “Relationships and Roles in the New Creation,” which asserts that headship/submission of the genders will continue in the afterlife.

Here’s the link.  Please read!

Graham Explains Submission within the Trinity

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On our February 3rd VLOG, Becky’s husband Graham Buck offered an excellent explanation of what submission looks like from a Trinitarian perspective.  I thought I would transcribe his comments here for easier reference:

Becky: [Introduces Graham…]

Graham: Ok, so, submission when it comes to marriage.  I think where people sometimes get into trouble is right at the very beginning.  When we think about this idea of submission in marriage, and people draw this primarily from Ephesians 5 and 6, where Paul is laying out instructions for Christian families, and he makes this comment as to submission.

Now, the trouble comes from when we start from a strictly dictionary definition of submission.  I think that people sometimes feel that whenever you read submission, it is one person exerting their authority over another, and usually in an authoritarian way.  Which is not at all what the biblical picture of submission is.  In order to understand submission, we need to look back at God himself, because within the Trinity, you have mutually submissive relationships.  You have Father, you have Son, you have Holy Spirit, who are One and Three.

And if its true, as it is, that we are made in God’s image, as per Genesis 2, then who we are is going to reflect who God is.  Men will reflect God’s image, women will reflect God’s image.  And its not the case that you have just men or just women reflecting the image, or god forbid, you have men reflect part of his image here, and women reflect part of his image there, and in order to get the full picture, you have to be in a marriage relationship.  That kind of idea can do a lot of damage, and unfortunately, is not uncommon, and more often than not, has negative impact on women as opposed to men, because it tends to be in areas where guys can do anything and girls can’t.  But that’s conversation for another day.  We’re talking about submission.

So you have Father, Spirit and Son in a relationship.  The most deeply intimate relationship that there is.  Every kind of intimacy that we can know and understand is derivative from this intimate relationship that the Trinity experiences.  And while even the names Father and Son, and unfortunately most Christians have a very low view of Holy Spirit, its just some nebulous whatever.  Even just the fact that we like to have gendered names for Father and Son and then “it” for the Spirit, anyway, that’s for another day.

But its important in the sense that the names Father, Son and Spirit would lend themselves, without careful inspection of our categories, to say that the Father is the one in charge, he’s the one who lays everything down.  The Son just does what the Father says, and if you read certain portions of John, you’d think that’s exactly what happens.  Jesus says things like, “I can only do what the Father tells me to do,” “I can only say what the Father tells me to say.”  If you were to read these verses out of context, it would almost sound like a really abusive relationship, because Jesus, in some respect, says he can’t do anything apart from the Father. But that’s not the case at all.  You have the Father, who loves the Son, and you have the Son, who willingly gives of himself to the Father and to us. But it’s not just that one-way street.  The author of Hebrews even says, the Son now intercedes for us.  Jesus pleads our case to the Father, and does the Father say, “My way or the highway?”  No, the Father hears our prayers, and he answers them.

Submission within the Trinity is one where it’s not about a hierarchy, as if to say that the Father is more God than the Son, or Jesus has more authority than Holy Spirit.  Rather, submission within the Trinity is one of unified purpose, and really, for them, unified nature.

So as we think about marriage, as we think about marriage reflecting who God is, as we think about us as individuals in a marriage reflecting who God is, submission is not one of authoritative rule, it is rather one, of unified purpose.  Even there, what does Paul say?  That husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, laying down their lives for them.  Right?

This unified purpose – I am called, as a man generally, and as Graham specifically, to live out the commandments that God gives to Adam and Eve in the garden, which is to be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it.  This creation mandate that we see throughout the Scriptures, and ultimately, is repurposed in the Great Commission.  The Great Commission is not this brand new thing, but a restatement and a refocusing through Jesus, of the Creation Mandate of Genesis 2.
“Go and make disciples (be fruitful), baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Spirit, and teaching them to obey all that I’ve commanded you (subdue).”

So as a man, and as Graham, that is my call.  For Becky, the call is no different.  As a woman, generally, and as Becky in particular, that is her call.  And we, as husband and wife, that is our call.  We have a unified purpose.  We are not uniform.  God himself is not uniform.  There is unity in diversity.  Unity is different than uniformity.  And so this unified purpose — that idea, I think, changes the ball game when you look at submission.  Because it then is far less about a top-down authoritarian rule of my-way-or-the-highway, or even more genteelly, I would love to hear your input, I would love to have your opinions, but ultimately it is my decision.  It’s far less that, and far more we, as individuals, and we, as one – the two shall become one – having a unified goal and a unified purpose.  And oftentimes for the us, something of me or something of she must be put aside.  Perhaps a particular desire that I have is not particularly wrong but doesn’t work for the purpose of our family, and so I just lay it down, for the purpose of our family.  Sometimes its the same for Becky.  So coming together, having a vision for our family, seeing that, working together, as co-laborers for this vision, right? And then stepping out into the world with that.  That’s the idea of submission.  We lay down our individual wants and desires when it comes time for that, because the us, and that vision and calling, is the greater good.

Becky: Yah, I think that’s pretty much exactly why I wanted him to tackle all that!  Because he has a great ability to tie things to a more accurately Biblical perspective without it being a more polarized opinion.  So, we just want to encourage you guys to explore that.  Look into what, if you’ve never thought about submission needing to having its roots in the Trinity and how the Trinity mutually submits to each other, explore that.  Explore that and see what the Holy Spirit leads you into.  […continues to discuss submission within marriage from their personal experiences.]

Watch this video in its entirety here.

Image credit: http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/p/keep-calm-and-obey-your-husband-5/.  Sorry for the sarcasm! 😛